I like cooking but not so much to spend hours in the kitchen. I love what my fellow Indians refer to as 'bland' american food, so food was always a non issue. But once in a while I cook food that tastes Indian, especially when you need to feel the spice in your tongue to shake off that alcohol induced numbness. Thats when I make the stuff.
The recipe follows:
I highly reccommend a shot of Tequila or Vodka when you start with the process.I also endorse organic produce if you can get/afford it(I am talking about the ingredients mentioned below).
Get 1 big ass white onion or 2 small ones and chop/mince/grind or whatever you wanna do to increase the oil to onion contact ratio.
Get a tomato.Make sure that its smaller than the onion, thats the key. If you dont like tomatos you can use a small spoonful of ketchup. Dice it.
Green Chillies, the more the better.
Green Peas. A small can.
Garam Masala or Meat Masala or Chicken Masala or any of those packets with the word 'Masala' in it.
A
buffalo. Not the
Indian one that spends its life frolicking in mud,water and sun but the great almost extinct and back American bison , commonly referred in the US as buffalo. Kill it, skin it and grind the meat. In case you cant find one you can use a cow or a turkey. No, you can not use goats as they are sacred. Also remember the popular urban saying 'Go fuck a goat..' from the movie
40 year old virgin . Its immoral to kill something that you fuck. Use a pound or two for this recipe.
Now below are the four optional ingredients that add to the flavor but if you dont have them, just increase the chilly content to compensate.
Ginger and garlic.(I count them as one)
Curry leaves.
Mustard/fenugreek/cumin seeds. (This one too)
fresh cilantro.
Ok. I use the pressure cooker but if you dont have one, use a deep pan with a lid. Pour some oil into the skillet/cooker/pan. Use the indian heat measuring technique to find out if the oil is hot. No seriously, put some mustard/fenugreek seeds/cumin seeds in the oil. When you hear a few bursts, put a spoonful of whatever masala powder you have.I like to burn the masala to compensate for something, I dont quite remember what. slide the onion in. Saute.
You should pour another shot for you and your friend at this crucial juncture. Something that will clear up your nose. Its very important for you to get the flavor right. Now, slide in the chillies and curry leaves, after a few minutes, some ginger and garllic in what ever form you have it followed by the the tomato.
saute.Add some more masala powder.
Add some water/beer to loosen the mix. and when its hot and ready to accept the buffalo add the buffalo.
Close the cooker for 8 mins. If you are using the pan, you are old school.
Open the cooker and add peas. Cook for another few minutes.
Alright, when you know its done (buffalo meat cooks fast), garnish with cilantro and eat. A beer would be nice with some bread /rice.
Do not forget to add salt. I have made this mistake many times.
If you spend more than 15-20 mins making this, you are doing it wrong.
If any buffalos find the recipe offensive I'll consider removing it.
